Impending Departure

So... I bought my plane ticket outta Beantown. It's a one-way plane ticket on JetBlue that leaves Thursday afternoon at 4:40 pm.

This is it. I know that I'm excited about leaving but I can't help feeling some feelings in the neighborhood of... regret?

Part of the reason why I wanted to move out here in the first place was that it was an opportunity for a fresh start. Not that I was ... say... wanted by the mafia or put on a government hit list. I just wanted a chance to do something or go somewhere that I wouldn't have done before. Perhaps Mike was right... maybe I'm too cinematic.

I'm not sure what I was looking for exactly. A new job? For sure. A new city? Definitely. But beyond that, I'm not sure. I do know that there was an appeal of going somewhere and being able to redefine my life parameters. It's still appealing. All those mistakes you make? The ones you feel you can't live down? You can actually run away from all that. But, as we've all felt, experiences build the person. It's a cliche but it's a cliche for a reason. We are the sum total of our mistakes.

So I'm sitting here... nearly 1 year and 4 months after first moving out here and, upon reflection, this was both a success and a failure.

It was a success because I did manage to find more things about myself, my life, and my ambitions. I was able to find skills and abilities that I wouldn't have found if I hadn't needed to find a new job. I was able to find new friends who I definitely wouldn't have met if I hadn't come out here. I survived in a new city and thrived in some respects. I got to know this city a lot quicker than I have any other place that I've lived. I even went to a bunch of games in Fenway and learned that baseball's actually pretty interesting... especially when you're freakin' surrounded by it.

It was a failure, however, because I didn't manage to succeed in building a brand new life. More accurately, I wasn't able to leave my old life behind. This past year's been difficult because I'm inclined to think in terms of San Jose life. It's like when you learn a new language: in your head, you still have to process thoughts in the language you spoke before. And, the more time I spent thinking about San Jose, the more I found myself wishing I was back there.

I realize that I am making a rather hasty judgment in this sense. I've been told that I need to spend 2 years in a place to grow comfortable there. I can understand this sentiment and I feel that if I were to spend another year here, I could probably feel fairly comfortable. However, like I mentioned before, I wanted to be closer to family. Also, right now, calendar-wise, the new school year's approaching and now was the time to find a job that I really wanted. If you've ever played poker with me you'd know that, with some exceptions, I'm generally a hasty decision maker. I tend to make decisions about myself and my life in a fairly quick manner. (This is also why I'm susceptible to impulse purchases.)

So, here I am... pros and cons for staying and leaving. I figured, in the end, if there was a way on the scale I WANTED to error, it'd be toward the leaving side of the scale. After all, I think my support system is better in California (which would make sense, considering that I lived in California for 23 years and in Boston for 1.3 years). It may be the simple answer. It may be the quick answer. But, ultimately, I want comfort and familiarity. In my time here, I've realized that I enjoyed my life there. So... that's that.

I don't know what the point of this post was. Catharsis, I suppose. Some weird denouement for
my East Coast time. There are things I'll miss here, however. A couple people I'm going to miss a lot. I'm going to miss my job to some extent. I'm going to miss the public transportation system (but I'm NOT going to miss NOT having a car. Jeez, having a car makes life so much easier). I'm going to miss Yawkey Way and Fenway Franks. I'm going to miss the Johnny's Fresh Market right around the corner. But... it's for the better, I think. My little Boston tangent is coming to an end and I'm ready for the next chapter in my life (and I think I just mixed a metaphor there... subtly).

Anyway, I'm now sitting here, 5 days away from my plane ticket out, listening to Jason Robert Brown, and reminiscing. To be honest, I should be packing more stuff but I think I'll probably end up watching a movie and going to bed early. My brain hurts...

So it's been awhile.... again

So it's been a little while since I've blogged. Probably about a month or nearly. I guess I should just jump right in because I've had a bevy of stuff to put up here.

First off, yes, I've found a job in Santa Cruz. In UC Santa Cruz, to be exact. It's the position of ACPC (Assistant College Programs Coordinator). I've been given a formal offer, which I've accepted (for those of you curious... that'd be Kali and probably only Kali, I didn't get the salary increase I was negotiating for... I suck at negotiations but at least I tried this time. Next time will work better... I hope). I suppose since I haven't signed on any dotted lines yet there's always some chance that the job offer will be revoked but it's a slim chance.

Since I've found a job at UCSC that means that I'm going to be moving back to California. It'll probably be sometime in the middle of next week. I still need to pack hardcore and I need to ship things hardcore so it's not like I can just waltz on a plane. That being said, I don't anticipate any real hardships... just the mailing of my stuff back to California. Which will suck. But it's alright.

One of the main reasons why I wanted to go back to California is because of my family. I think that there are members of my family who are getting to certain health and age ranges that make them more susceptible to sudden and unexpected hospital trips... or worse... so I think it'd be better if I were geographically closer to my family. Last November, my dad was admitted to the ER. It turned out to be nothing serious but it was a scary moment when I got a phone call from my cousin telling me my dad had been sent to the ER from work. I realized I needed to be geographically closer to home because 3000+ miles is just too far. I realize I'm probably alone in this but I like being closer to my family.

So, moving back to California. That's big news, I suppose. For me anyway. Because it's a pain in the tuchas to move this shit.

Last weekend, however, I got a bit of a headstart by attending Sara's wedding. I took the opportunity to move 100+ pounds of stuff back to California through checked luggage and carry-on luggage. The only real stuff I took that I took back were my laptop and my clothes. I left probably over 80 pounds of DVDs, comic books, books, papers, etc. And I haven't even really made a dent.

The important part in that last paragraph, however, was Sara's wedding. I can't believe I attended a wedding of someone in my close friend circle. I mean, seriously now. I feel... old and very immature for my age. It was a beautiful wedding tho. I'm not going to detail it out like I did my cousin's last month mainly because I detailed his wedding out because 1.) nobody who reads this blog attended his wedding and 2.) it was a longer and more expansive story what with the airplane delays and junk. Sara's wedding was not problematic (altho the driving was a little ridiculous. Honestly now, that was a very far way to go for a wedding and a reception) and was fun. It was nice and romantic and sweet and exactly how I thought Sara's wedding would be (which was nice, romantic, and sweet). Oh, and she looked lovely in her dress. (I think all brides do. It's a requirement for a wedding.)

I'm finishing up stuff at work. Tomorrow's my last day. Although it's my last physical day in work as an employee, I am working on a couple of projects for them that obviously won't be finished by tomorrow's end of day. So, I'm going to freelance for them from California, including work on the catering menu (which is what I spent pretty much the whole of today working on). I'm going to miss working here because it was mostly fun. It was loose and non-restrictive and generally free-flowing in what you could do and what you could have fun with. Sometimes we'd drink at work. We'd always listen to loud and fun (and obnoxious) music. We'd always be dancing or singing or whatever. It was mostly fun.

Tomorrow also won't be my last day in work. I pre-ordered Harry Potter 7 (the Deathly Hallows... oooo...) like 2 or 3 months ago (Harry Potter I can pre-order but a plane ticket bought more than a week early I can't? Obviously I have my priorities skewed) and I used my work address because I'm very wary of my Boston home address's ability to receive mail (I don't get my newsletter regularly, which I pay for and which is sent regularly). However I discovered that we don't get Saturday delivery at Zigo so I have to go back Monday to get the stupid package (I'd have canceled the order but I ordered the limited edition one with the prints and prettiness so I'd rather have that 2 days later than the normal one day-of). Plus, I figure I'm going to have to do hardcore serious brow-furrowing packing this weekend and if I have the new Harry Potter in my hands, that's totally not going to happen. So, this weekend, instead of reading Harry Potter 7, I'm going to be... packing.

What else? Yesterday, I saw Sicko, the new Michael Moore documentary. It was really good but, like all Michael Moore documentaries, it so blatantly exploits your emotions (and does a good job at it) that you sit there wondering how many things were glossed over and fudged around to make the point he's making in any one scene. Still, I'd recommend going to see it if, for no other reason, than to see the part about Nixon and the part about Cuba. Those two parts were exceptional film-making and it proves why Michael Moore is able to raise the ire of so many people, whether for good or evil. Because Michael Moore, if nothing else, is skilled at what he does.

Another thing that's been on my mind when I started this blog is that the front page of the NYTimes.com website right now has an article about Hillary Clinton and how she's polling right now. I think Hillary Clinton actually does have a fairly decent chance of winning. I think that if she does win, she would accomplish some ultimately beneficial things. I think she would be able to introduce a national health care plan. I think she'd be able to find a way out of Iraq (not fix Iraq. Just find a way out). I think she'd be able to reconcile some of the polarization that Bush's presidency's created by being bipartisan. I also think that she's going to be battling an almost completely vertical uphill battle.

I think, first and foremost, she needs to solidify her base constituents. One of the ways that Hillary has to establish herself as a credible candidate is to demonstrate that she has very solid and identifiable morals; even moreso than male candidates because she's such a high-profile female candidate. She needs to appeal to Democratic standards and one of the easiest ways to do that is to subtly have Bill by her side more. It doesn't need to apparent and it certainly doesn't need to be 24/7 but once in awhile, it would help. To remind Democrats that "Hey, I'm married to the most popular Democrat to have been around in the last 20 years, not mention one of the smartest political minds in the last 20 years." Perhaps one way to do this would be to have an agenda for Bill Clinton as the First Husband. Announce, at some point during a slow news cycle, that as First Husband, Bill Clinton will be working 100% toward... say... cleaning up the environment and fight back global warming. Give him an agenda and then you'll have a legitimate reason to say his name in debates.

(If using Bill is going to be part of her strategy, and I think it should be, they first need to address the default response which is "you're riding on your husband's coattails." The kindergarten response would be "Bush rode on his father's coattails and it got him re-elected. Obviously America doesn't have a problem with coattails." But that's very obviously a bad bad bad response.)

Hillary also needs to address some issues head on. I understand the strategy to stay away from foreign affairs but perhaps she needs to attack something head-on as not a "woman's point of view" but a "new point of view." Definitely never say the word "woman" unless she's being directly challenged on it but always use rhetoric like "new point of view" or "fresh way of thinking." Something like:
"We've followed Bush [don't refer to him as "president." Ever.] and he's failed at his agenda for Iraq. (# of people) have been killed. (# of people) are living in squalor and shame. (# of soldiers) have been killed. Enough is enough. It's time for a new point of view. It's time for a change."

[where did I steal "squalor and shame"? it feels like a quote from a Disney song or something.]

At this point, I actually hope that Hillary gets the Democratic nomination because the debates are going to be unbelievably interesting. This is one campaign I'd follow closely.

Anyway, aside from all that, nothing else has been on my mind. Except that packing's going to suck. Suck a lot. Hopefully I'll poke my head up outta my mess of a room this weekend and do some more virtual interactions. Until then, however, see ya!